The Climate Chaos of the Retail Gods

I love a good sale. Truly, I do. There’s nothing better than scoring that darling Brooks Brother pencil skirt without having to forgo things like food and electricity for a month. I probably owe much of this to my grandmother who could attack a Gayfer’s Midnight Madness Sale with all the tactical fervor of Napoleon Bonaparte. Yet, I am perpetually perplexed by the deals I score in the wrong countries.

When Christmas is over and the Boxing Day sales have left the flagship stores along Edinburgh’s Princes Street decimated, the new shoots of the spring lines slowly begin to appear. We are offered eyelet and linen in soft playful colors and the empty promise of warm enough weather to wear it all. Conversely, in department stores all across Florida, once we put our whites away after Labor Day, the flannel and fur set in for a winter that will never quite be cold enough.

Due to my transatlantic circumstances, this ends up suiting me just fine (no pun intended). When it’s left on the rack here in Scotland, I’ll happily rescue that fabulous silk dress at half-price and give it a foreign life of – Ooh, we’re did you get that lovely dress?Oh, this? I got it at this great shop in Scotland. It never gets old. And, due to a necessary lack of cute shoes, I’m always pleased to snag a pair of reduced-to-clear winter boots at the Tallahassee Dillard’s that no one in Scotland will have.

However, I do not believe the pantheon of retail gods are smiling on someone like me. They’re in it for a profit and I shop the sales for a reason. My meager monetary contributions aren’t going to make a dent in anyone’s bottom line. So, in all seriousness, what’s the deal?

Is this not supply-chain dysfunction on a global scale? The merchandising majors of this world cannot be that oblivious to climate, can they? I, too, struggled in freshman meteorology in college, but I can certainly tell you that the seasons of Florida are hot, hotter, hottest, and Christmas, and Scotland’s are cold, colder, coldest, and rain. That’s just science.

Therefore, would it not be easier (and more profitable!) to cater to warmer winters and cooler summers in certain places?

I have never worked in retail, so this is all mere conjecture. I’m sure there is perfectly logical reasoning behind geographical stock choice. I just haven’t figured it out yet. Then again, maybe it’s something better left to faith and not fact. I’ve got a wedding to go to and there’s a sale on at Anthrolopologie. I’m hoping, at the very least, the twin retail gods, Cheap and Totes Adorbs, are on my side.